God was always a reality 

As a child, I used to go to church on Sundays; we did not understand a word of the Catholic service, as it was held in Latin. But, I was fascinated by the church, the statutes and the colourful glass windows. Even though I barely understood the concept of faith, it was still clear to me that God exists and that he is holy. At school, I became a more and more successful student as the years went by. I especially loved the lessons on the subject of religion, where I listened to stories of Jesus and was drawn to them. I also liked listening to the beautiful songs. Even now, the these song lyrics stay with me: I want to sing your name my whole life, Lord. 

Look for someone else!

During my high school years, I visited a monastery and concerned myself with faith. In my simple room there was a bible on the desk. I read the bible hoping that God would talk to me; but I didn’t understand anything and I heard nothing. Nevertheless, the stay at the monastery was important for the following years of my life, as upon returning home, I had the clear impression that God would talk to me in my heart. I understood that he was encouraging me to devote my life to His service. I shouted loudly: „No, Lord, look for someone else, I do not want to be a nun!” At that time I believed that one could only serve God with one’s life either as a nun or as a priest. However, I wanted to get married one day and have children. Nevertheless, this experience had a profound effect on me, because I experienced God’s speaking as a reality. 

Suddenly pregnant

I was a well-behaved child, and after successfully graduating from high school, I began to study at university. While at university, I had my first relationships with men. They promised me heaven on earth and I played the dangerous game….until I suddenly got pregnant at the age of 19. What a shock! I knew that I wanted to keep the baby, even though the child’s father had run off long before the baby was born.  I thought that I would move in with a friend and give birth to my child. But then my mother had a very difficult time due to a conflict with one of my sisters. Dad had exited our lives a few years ago. I felt that the shame of being pregnant, with an unplanned pregnancy, would be too much for my mother to bear because she would feel I had disgraced our family. I simply did not want to hurt her and so, I had a dilemma and asked myself, „Do I kill my baby or do I hurt my Mum”. In the end, I decided to have an abortion, but I suffered tremendously. The following night I had a dream, in my dream Jesus appeared and asked “Why did you kill me?” I desperately asked for forgiveness, but I could not forgive myself. 

In search of meaning

My Mum had to go to Kinshasa and stay there for a while, in order to solve the financial problems of my family. I, therefore, had to take care of my younger siblings. I continued studying and moonlighting to scratch a living. The abortion still played on my mind, but I had so many things to do and I did not have much time to think about it. 

Soon I was totally exhausted and therefore susceptible to consoling and encouraging words spoken by a much older friend of my family. He listened to me and gave me advice that sidetracked me. I soon began to trust him and fell in love with him, but he was married! Another complicated situation and another dilemma. I did not want to do the same to another woman as my father did to my mother. Why was I so attached to him? During the 18 months of our relationship, I broke up with him, about 10 times. 

I confided in my sister who was a year younger than me. She said „Madeline, my dear, only Jesus can give you the love you are looking for!” My sister told me that she had a personal relationship with Jesus and that she was reconciled with God. This was pure, unconditional love and I wanted to experience it too. I wanted to exchange it for the adulterous love I was not entitled to and that was not good for me. My sister encouraged me to break up with the married man. After I had prayed about it intensely, was I able to find the strength to end the relationship – but it was only with God’s help! 

Broken bonds 

So was that easy with faith? I understood that Jesus had offered help to me through my sister. But how could I connect with Him in the same way that I did with her? I began to attend the church in which my sister felt so good. During a service, the pastor invited people to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus. He explained that Jesus paid the price on the cross, and took the punishment I deserved for all my sins, and for my messed up, complicated life, simply for me, Madeline. Yes, that was what I wanted: I wanted to be loved, freed and justified!  

On that Sunday several bonds were broken in my life: first of all of course that of adultery. But also the bond of resentment against my father and numerous other men of my nation who had abandoned their wives and families. I could forgive them. Also, the bond of my struggle with difficult life circumstances was broken, as I gained a real footing in life and could take the next steps cautiously. Thank God that all these bonds could be broken through the power of reconciliation with my creator! 

Spreading love 

Since then, I have wanted to spread love with my life, giving courage to others. So many people stray from the right path and overlook that there is a marvellous help, close to their hearts, if only they would recognise it. I had the opportunity for some time to work as a prison minister. I realised that the words guilt and atonement have completely different meanings in a prison: a lot of inmates are open to a personal encounter with the guiltless and sinless, Jesus. 

I took my time in finding a relationship with a man. I finally got married in 1989. But after 20 years of marriage, we got divorced. Today I have three wonderful adult children and already 4 grandchildren. I am now 60 years old and I am happy when my children tell me that I gave them something priceless: faith in Jesus! 

In the world of railway stations

My story would not be told in this magazine if I was not working in railways: For 12 years I have worked in customer services and ticketing for the Belgium state railways SNCB. I love the direct contact with people. To be there for them, to give a smile, to provide important information, de-stress those who are not accustomed to travelling via railway, to calm those who fear arriving late at the destination due to the delay of a train, to find simple solutions, to reassure and serve people with my presence. I always imagine when I see the mass of travellers in a railway station: they are magnificently created and loved by God, and if they want, they too can be freed through Jesus. I know everyone is precious to God and loved by Him and it is with this in mind that want to share that love with everyone I meet.  

Madeleine Mampengu

■ Born in 1963 in DRC 

■ Raised with 8 siblings

■ Inadvertently became pregnant at the age of 19 

■ Married in 1989, divorced in 2011, has 3 adult children 

■ Lives in Liege, Belgium

■ Job: ticket sales and customer services with the Belgium state railway (SNCB) 

■ Belgian Point of contact for Railhope International since 2021 

Edited from the original French 

by Lukas Buchmueller, 

SBB customer service staff